Stubborn Dogs



This my story of how it feels to be discovering what is intrinsically my sense of self again, having lost it somewhere down the side of the sofa I’ve been slumped out on for most of the last three months, flopped down on by this Stubborn Dog of a depression which has sat on me silently squeezing my life breath to a smoker’s rattle. I have to write. I must write. It is a matter of Life and Death that I write. Not for anyone else but ME.

In his Introduction to Stephen King’s collection of truly scary stories, ‘Night Shift’, writer John D. McDonald writes about this compulsion, this obsession to write. He says that to write:

“you have to start knowing yourself so well that you begin to know other people. A piece of us is in every person we ever meet.”

I like that. I like that very much. It pretty much sums up this conversation I’d like to have with you if you’re reading this. I have a relationship with you as I write this journal and you read. And I’d very much welcome your feedback as I learn about the new me through as I write my self back into full health again.

Audre Lorde is a writer I have drawn great strength and inspiration from over the years. Her Spirit inspires me still through her words:

“When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

girls at wells-next-the-sea


About Sam Feeney

I am a counsellor, trainer and LGBTQI community activist. I write about my journey through life as a someone who lives and breathes gender and sexual difference and who cares passionately about creating powerful and sustainable radical social and political change.
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