I want to shout a massive THANK YOU to everyone who has sent me personal messages of support, their thoughts, even a CONGRATULATIONS!
It’s very easy in these cynical times to forget the power of basic human solidarity in times of trouble and change. I can feel a warm wave of that fundamentally instinctive feeling as I am some beautifully moving connections with friends and family old and new.
Writing my Stubborn Dogs blog is proving to be enormously therapeutic as I wrestle with the reality of coming out of what has been a severe depression, albeit this time round being able to manage it in a different way than before. I am beginning to feel better in myself, now that I have made what is this life-changing decision to have surgery and hormone therapy, although its only been three weeks so far. That I feel so much support and honesty out there is really important in my growing confidence. But I have to be careful not to try and run before I can walk.
It’s a big day tomorrow as I dip my toes back in at work to begin to reconnect there. My reality check with my therapist this morning has left me feeling that I really do need to take care as I climb out of it….and not try and rush to the summit carrying more baggage than I can realistically manage. My poor old brain cells are doing their best to get the synapses running smoothly and free from major technical faults. My medication’s stabilised. And I now have a future to be looking forward to, with a wonderful partner, family and friends to share with. I’m sure my work colleagues will be as supportive as they’ve been before when I go back although, as with everyone, it’s something you can only get your head around if you have an open heart to ‘difference’ and change and are prepared to re-evaluate sometimes deeply buried attitudes and prejudices that we all have in us.
Thanks to my friend Jo who sent me a lovely email along with this quote from Nelson Mandela’s inaugral speech in 1994.
“It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”
Thank you for following my musings so far. There’ll be plenty more posts to come as this will sure be a long process so I hope you’ll continue to visit and chip in when you feel you want to say how something seems to you.