Back to work

Back to work

Some more good news by the end of this last week…. I am going back to work on Tuesday! Went to the doc on Thursday and she signed me back fit. We had a discussion about the anti-depressants I’m on and I checked in with her about maintaining the dosage I’m taking. Because I’ve been feeling on a real high lately, I did have a thought about starting to reduce the citalopram. But that’ll come later….as things continue to improve… hopefully.

I then went to our occupational health nurse who could also see the dramatic change in my mood and confidence. She had no problems with me sorting out a phased return with my managers as I’d already talked through a plan for returning with my managers anyway on the informal hours I’ve been popping in these last few weeks to prepare myself for returning to work.
Now it’s agreed! I can get back this week, build up my hours over the next four weeks, and use the rest of my leave to pad out part-time weeks while we get the issue of my contracted hours sorted out – as I need to drop back to part-time hours from full-time (which needs a bit more creative thought in the current climate of job-hatcheting in local goverment!!).
Woohoo!!!!!!! It feels really good to be crossing that bridge back to some sort of normality on the job front again.
The second area where I’m going ‘back to work’ is another great breakthrough I’ve been waiting to be ready for with regards to my as yet uncompleted diploma in therapeutic counselling. I should have completed in summer 2008. But at the time everyone else was tying things together, reflecting on how much their training had impacted on them in a very personal way, changing the relationship they most importantly had with themselves, I had plunged into a relationship which had revealed in stark scary technicolour some aspects of myself that I was not ready at that time to face. It created a fundamental block which certain parts of myself absolutely resisted confronting. I guess looking back, that was where this most recent depression originated, in the brutal inner conflict that was exposed in the wounds of that relationship – at a time when I should have been wrapping everything up!
Anyway, I finally reconnected with my tutor a couple of weeks ago as I now feel that I am in the right place to get the work completed. What was so heart-warming was the way in which the college board and awarding body have been so utterly supportive of me. It had been a Great Mystery why I had dropped out at the very end of what is a heavily challenging course of study when I was recognised as a gifted trainee counsellor who always delivered good assignments and engaged well in all aspects of theory and practice.
The long and short of it is that I have been given an unprecedented extension to complete the two case studies and self-review outstanding by Easter. On completion of these and a bit of portfolio tweaking I am set to finally qualify Easter 2010.
So, it’s back to work again for me with a realistic plan of how I can get from here to where I want to be in a few months time. I’m sure some opportunities will come my way for developing some freelance income. It’s weird to be feeling confident in myself and confident that good things are going to happen this coming year.
Roll on 2010!!!
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About Sam Feeney

I am a counsellor, trainer and LGBTQI community activist. I write about my journey through life as a someone who lives and breathes gender and sexual difference and who cares passionately about creating powerful and sustainable radical social and political change.
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