Tag Archives: transgender
It Gets Better – even when it feels really bad
Bosch’s ‘Hell’ (from The Garden of Earthly Delights) I have been rather quiet these last couple of months, except for on Facebook where I have been wittering my moods, thoughts and ideas, crazy and not-so-crazy, masking a period of turmoil … Continue reading
Feeling good, feeling hope, feeling focussed
It’s three months tomorrow , thirteen weeks today, since I started testosterone. So much has happened to me and it has to be said it has been tough for me so far. But things are beginning to level out for … Continue reading
Feral Daydreams – a poem
It has been nearly two years since I last wrote a poem. Two years at the end of September. That was a special poem as it was like a diary, recording my growing feelings soon after Carmen and I met … Continue reading
Shapeshifting for beginners – my first three weeks on T
Three weeks ago today I had 1000mg 1M of Nebido, a slow-release formulation of testosterone, injected into the top of my right gluteous maximus muscle in my bum. My girlfriend held my hand, and as I felt the sharp prick of … Continue reading
Fire in my head
What is happening to me now feels like a rebirth. I am on the cusp quite literally of beginning my physical somatic transition. Each and every cell in my body will feel the surge of a hormone familiar from childhood … Continue reading
The Meaning of Life
I am feeling like a pre-pubescent boy, flushing in anticipation of the rising tide of masculinity that comes with the boost to testosterone which puberty brings. Sometimes I cannot even think straight. I have a lot of adrenaline flowing through … Continue reading
Easter musings from an ex-martyr transman
Three years ago at Easter I was still in shock after my partner left me. It was a beautiful sunny Easter and as I was slap bang in the middle of my counselling diploma course. I was writing, drawing, painting … Continue reading
What Happens When You Find the One…And He’s Nothing—Nothing—Like You Expected?
Allison Cooper and home with her fiance After years of relationships that never seemed to fit, Allison Cooper finally met her match. And he was nothing—nothing—like she’d imagined. The whole article was published in the Oprah Magazine, 18 March 2010. You … Continue reading
Sunny side up is how I want my stress please…
It’s hard to be cheerful all the time, with a genuine sunny smile. Some days I really don’t feel like that at all and I shrivel and curl up inside with my jaw grinding as methodically as I breathe. But … Continue reading
Stubborn Dogs 