Tag Archives: transgender

It Gets Better – even when it feels really bad

Bosch’s ‘Hell’ (from The Garden of Earthly Delights) I have been rather quiet these last couple of months, except for on Facebook where I have been wittering my moods, thoughts and ideas, crazy and not-so-crazy, masking a period of turmoil … Continue reading

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Feeling good, feeling hope, feeling focussed

It’s three months tomorrow , thirteen weeks today, since I started testosterone. So much has happened to me and it has to be said it has been tough for me so far. But things are beginning to level out for … Continue reading

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Feral Daydreams – a poem

It has been nearly two years since I last wrote a poem. Two years at the end of September. That was a special poem as it was like a diary, recording my growing feelings soon after Carmen and I met … Continue reading

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My American Dream (via [a])

“My dream: to have abundant food, love, and family. To work our asses off on the farm to sustain ourselves. To create a haven for queers, young people, rejects, freaks, and the lonely. To raise our kids outside of the … Continue reading

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Shapeshifting for beginners – my first three weeks on T

Three weeks¬†¬†ago today I had 1000mg 1M of Nebido, a slow-release formulation of testosterone, injected into the top of my right gluteous maximus muscle in my bum. My girlfriend held my hand, and as I felt the sharp prick of … Continue reading

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Fire in my head

What is happening to me now feels like a rebirth. I am on the cusp quite literally of beginning my physical somatic transition. Each and every cell in my body will feel the surge of a hormone familiar from childhood … Continue reading

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The Meaning of Life

I am feeling like a pre-pubescent boy, flushing in anticipation of the rising tide of masculinity that comes with the boost to testosterone which puberty brings. Sometimes I cannot even think straight. I have a lot of adrenaline flowing through … Continue reading

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